15. utterly exhausted # Carnegie



----- 原書引用始め -----

"I was utterly exhausted. I was a Graves Registration,
non-commissioned Officer for the 94th Infantry Division. My work was to help set up and maintain records of all men killed in action, missing in action, and hospitalized. I also had to help disinter the bodies of both Allied and enemy soldiers who had been killed and hastily buried in shallow graves during the pitch of battle. I had to gather up the personal effects of these men and see that they were sent
back to parents or closest relatives who would prize these personal effects so much. I was constantly worried for fear we might be making embarrassing and serious mistakes. I was worried about whether or not I would come through all this. I was worried about whether I would live to hold my only child in my arms-----a son of sixteen months, whom I had never seen. I was so worried and exhausted that I lost thirty-four pounds. I was so frantic that I was almost outof my mind. I looked at my hands. They were hardly more than skin and bones. I was terrified at the thought of going home a physical wreck. I broke down and sobbed like a child. I was so shaken that tears welled up every time I was alone. There was one period soon after the Battle of the Bulge started that I wept so often that I almost gave up hope of ever being a normal human being again.


----- 原書引用終わり -----


----- 訳書引用始め -----


もとへ送り返してやる必要があった。私は取り返しのつかないような大失敗をするのではないかという不安に駆られて、絶えず心配ばかりしていた。任務をまっとうできるかどうか思い悩んだ。生き延びて、自分の腕に、生後十六ヵ月で、まだ会ったこともない一人息子を抱けるかどうか心配だった。私は、心配と体力消耗のために十五キロもやせてしまった。気が高ぶり、半狂乱ともいえる状態だった。自分の手をじっと見つめた。 両手とも骨と皮だけだった。自分が廃人同然で帰国することを考えると、身の毛もよだつ思いがした。私は、こらえきれなくなって、子供のようにすすり泣いた。すっかり気弱になり、一人でいると、すぐ涙がこぼれた。一九四四年冬のドイツ軍大反攻が始まったしばらくあとでは、しょっちゅう泣いてばかりいて、二度と正常な人間の仲間入りができないのではないかと思えるほどだった。


----- 訳書引用終わり -----